negativity

don't allow the negative responses of others to determine your value...

who are they to judge you anyway??

people are not the experts of our worth;

GOD is..

stop there!

hahahaha...
what's happening to the world naba??
paki explain nga...
paki elaborate...
paki discuss..

well...
see...
hahaha...
nonsense aU no??

h0w mUch iS tOo mUch??

different people have different levels of pain tolerance and emotional loads...
there are those who can can have a thousand tons and those who can't even have a hundred...
what is too much for me..
is not for others..

i guess i don't have the capacity of a thousand...
more than a hundred maybe...
i easily get hurt and sick of everything!!

hahaha...
maybe sooner or later..
this pain i feel will ease a bit..]
this wounded heart be healed and all...

i'm tired of crying...
its like my eyes dried up of tears...

but this imperfect world,
though they offer too mUch sorrows and grief..
i'm happy that i can spend even a single moment of my life with joy and contentment...

why now??

i thought everything was settled then...

but one day i just woke up and found out that everything is just "kaplastikan"

well,, what can i do??

i don't know people's feelings.....
i can't read peoples thoughts....
where in the deepest part of their hearts and minds...
they keep this hatred and jealousy for others!!

i hope it did not reach this far...
not this deep...

its just better that the broken vase is not fix well...
cause if it was..
i know...
the next time its broken....
it will get you wounded
it will be very hard to fix it
hard to accept
that you cannot have it back!

just me!!

every person has different impression about me..

people believe that i am...

Noisy
Insecure
Arrogant
Judgmental
Exaggerated
Very emotional

i don't deny the fact that i am:

noisy...
i talk a lot
i laugh so loud
insecure...
i always have low self esteem
i always feel inferior
arrogant...
i don't think so
but my being arrogant only appears when people provoke me
(cause i think they need a shot of it!to let them realize that they are arrogant too..)
judgmental...
maybe i am just too honest that i say what i see
too bad to tell them what i really feel or think
exaggerated...
yes i am!
hahah..
especially when it comes to love and crushes
very emotional...
yes, maybe, no!
hahah..
maybe because i cry easily
(well that's the only outlet of my emotions..i dont think its bad at all)


i am not the kind of person who gets angry
when being criticized
when being reprimanded
in short close minded and mapride...
if their point is very obvious, why insist what you believe??

but i am a person who stand for what i believe as long as it is still reasonable and right..


i' ll be glad to be criticized, reprimanded...
cause it will help me to become a person of character...

people who back stab, who always see the faults of others
are actually seeing their own...

so be careful ....

friday the 13th. . .

well...
people say friday the 13th is a bad day....
need to be careful cause accidents are a buzz away..
but for this poor little girl...
friday the 13th (feb13'09) is a great day..
i just realize that dreams do come true...

hahaha...

so something of me..

all i wanted is a picture of him,
charannnnnnnnnnn..............

hahaha.....magic still exists!!

take a look at my heart...

when i was a child


my life is full of fantasies..
all i do is dream and dream and dream...
i can still remember the day they asked me what i want to become
i said i want to be everything...
i maybe self centered or something ..
but what they don't know,
behind that selfishness is a poor heart
who just wanted to be loved and cared for..
on the other hand...
this little heart wishes to return all the favors given
but i was too coward and weak to do so..
i was afraid i'll fail and hurt everyone i love..

the same little heart learned about love..
liked the person i hated ..
loved the person in the end..
sad thing is
i can't fight for my love
simply because it's wrong..
i was too young back then..
i am not ready for anything this world will offer..
i don't want to hurt my parents too..
so, this young heart
is broken to pieces...
and was hurt!


now i am a lady

time did not change who i am..
but in my own little way
i show my parents and love ones how i appreciated them
i'm doing my best in my studies cause i believe
simple things like this can make them happy..

the same old heart is as stupid as it was..
again, i fell in love
but the timing wasn't right..
we cannot be together for millions of reasons..
so, this poor heart is broken again..
i tried to be strong
but human as i am..
can't help but get jealous every time i see him with someone else..
feels insecure when his around...
so stupid of me..

why am i so unfortunate when it comes to love??
well' that question i can't answer...
hahahah...

years have passed...a child is now a lady
but still...
the same heart exists and beats for someone who doesn't love me..

no to studying!

ahahah..
i hate to study my lessons...
cause everytime i do....

• i failed
• i 'm stressed
  
• i 'm depressed
• i 'm getting bigger
• i 'm out!
• i 'm dead!
  

hahahah..
wanna try??

_coffee again_

we love pix!we love coffee!wanna join??
ash is busy..
i am busy..
hahaha
we are busy

_pink vampires_

we are the pink vampires!!we are Gigi(loisy) and Kiki(peewee)..
we both love pink..
we love jansport..
we love timex..
we love vaio..
we love macbook..
we love sony
we love penongs..
we love mang manok..
we love quail eggs..
we love oishi manju..
we love mango..
we love pansit..

we are the pink princesses...

_hope to be forgiven_

if loving him is a sin..
I'm sorry
if being aware of his whereabouts is a mistake
i don't know what to say
if being addicted to his presence is crazy
i found no time to think of it
will there be a vaccine for this thing called
"l-o-v-e"??
or will there be an antidote for me??

for all of my life-mymp

_mah bAbes_

date @kangaroo coffee shop!!
march 3, 2009, Tuesday ,10:40pm...

our first coffee together!

"what a romantic night"

_a rose petal_

he loves me ..he loves me not??
a game of possibilities...
true or not..
i don't know..

it's so frustrating
to pick the last rose petal
with a 'he loves me not'
but i can do nothin..

all i understand is that the person i love
doesn't love me..
for millions of reasons i don't know
i can't rationalize. .

i just lost my self and had hard time finding it back...
the broken pieces were not easy to pick up...
broken heart..
dissected brain..
bleeding vessels...

who can fix it and bring me back to life??

_iMpErfECt mE_

"my life is a mess" a famous line that best describes my life..i always wonder if it only happens to me. well, with this i just want you to know me..its up to you to judge...

• some people envy me and call me princess..

yes i am a princess in my own way. .
my mom and dad love me and provide me what i want...
my friends love me, support me, cheer me, and stay with me in my depressing moments...
my prince (i still don't know) but i believe is just there waiting for her princess to become his queen...

• some people hate me and call me witch..

yes im a witch, the prettiest witch of all time..
i do what i want..
i voice out what's in my mind..
most of all..
i love the unlovable..

• some people push me and call me selfish..

yes i am!
i hate to share my favorite stuffs...
i hate to share my room...
i hate to share the person i love...

everything offered under the sun and moon is not good enough for me if that 'one thing' i ask for, i can't have...
i'm not a witch for sure, i just want to be honest and true to my self cause i believe that truths hurt for a while but lies hurt forever...
i'm not selfish at all, i share what i have that is obviously needed by a friend or some one...

i may possess undesirable character, shameful traits, negativity.....
what can i do?
this is me....
imperfect yet true!

_-i am very sorry-_

I've done it again!!

why am i like this??
i always hurt the people i love..
i know i can't please everybody,
but can i just not hurt them at least??

i accidentally slipped over something that makes me very unhappy!!!
why can't i be aware of my actions??
why can't i be so sensitive of others feeling??
why can't i make them happy??

catastrophic years of my life just started. .
this never ending sorrows . .
i hope i can escape. . .

_my pink fairytale_

i love my panther!!!

i honestly don't know when it all began. i just woke up one morning with him in my mind. its so ironic that the more i convince myself of not loving him, the more i unconsciously push myself to his charm. its like everything in him attracts me..his eyes, his smile, even his voice...
he's smart
he's sporty
he's superb!
i lost all the adjectives in the world to describe him
i got blur vision of his flaws
i lost my wit when his around
but i never found reasons to hate him
all the attempts only made me fall inlove even more.
i just can't hate him!
he's private
he's serious
he's silent
traits that made him more interesting..
things that i cannot rationalize..
things that made me wonder...


will there be a happy ending??
will there be "the Prince and Me"??

my best book ever!

I've been dreaming of something wild that was realized through reading books. i have this book which i like most. It reminds me of my greatest fantasy of having a perfect someone who will love me not only in my best but also in my worst. It's a kinda weird, isn't it? I feel like i'm the leading lady in the story. I was drown in a world of fantasy then with a snap I woke up crying, that would be the saddest part of the story.i believe that everyone is familiar and maybe addicted to this book-TWILIGHT.

CONGRATULATIONS TO THOSE WHO WERE ABLE TO AVAIL TWILIGHT SAGA!